For reasons I won't go into today I spent the day watching regular ordinary daytime TV. This was not pleasant. In fact at times it was perplexing. Nonetheless I try to see everything as a learning experience so here is is..... Things I've learned about daytime TV.
Firstly there is a lot of news. They seem to have news on several times a day. I'm not talking about the dedicated 24 hours a day news channel. I mean all the other channels. Mostly it seems to involve simply retelling the same stories over and over. Occasionally there is something new to add, when there isn't they seem to exaggerate the stories they do have so that by the end of the day each story has become something completely different.
There is also a lot of channels solely selling crap things that presumably won't sell anywhere else. Why they put them on during the day is beyond me unless they think that people who watch TV during the day must be home from work on very heavy medication. Some of these things defy believe. ‘Dr Ho's physio belt’ anyone? Then there are those hideously ugly bras that somehow all women must have because apparently we all don't know how to get measured and buy proper bras in our actual size.
Or a product called ‘True back?’ I don’t even know what that is... I just flicked on to the channel in time to witness people answering the questions, "Truly? You are not just saying this because you are on camera?" To which they all enthusiastically replied no of course they are not just saying that because they are on camera, the product really works! It's changed their lives!" I for one totally believe them... I'm picking up the phone to order my free trial of something or other because I mean why would these people lie?
Then there are the ads selling insurance. Every channel and every single ad break. Sometimes even as a segment on a show....Income protection, life insurance or funeral insurance. Seemingly we are all sitting at home contemplating our mortality so that these ads seem perfectly timed. We are all easily convinced to sign up for yet another kind of insurance that we (don't) need. These ads declaring that it's cheaper than a cup of coffee and that no medical exam is required. Which does two things for me... Firstly it makes me really want a cup of coffee and secondly it makes me want to shout at the screen ( assuming that everyone watching the ad on TV will somehow hear me...) that what they really mean is that if you don't tell them about any health condition chances are they won't pay out...so beware!
Want to watch old episodes of Charlies's Angels? Then daytime TV is for you! Or movies so old they actually look grainy on the screen? Some TV show you have never heard of? Probably because they were so bad they never made it to prime time? How about an old episode of Taggart? No I mean old... Really old... Taggart is still alive! I like a good crime show but I'm sure I've seen these... Twenty years ago.
I am currently being saved from complete mental breakdown by The Antiques Roadshow. Yep that's the pick at the moment. I'm dreading it finishing as I will have to channel surf again. I can't seem to avoid noticing the gaudy jewellery on TVSN that they are asking a ridiculous amount of money for... Or a few seconds of someone smiling inanely because they have supposedly been saved by some odd appliance or from taking out insurance. Then again I could be lucky enough to find a cooking show.... Thanks goodness for Justine and Poh!
So the day is not done but I daresay I'm not in for much different. Of course I can't wait for The Chase to come on. The one daytime show that I love... That it is from the UK says a lot about Australian TV in general... But that's a blog for another day.
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