I remember well the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine ends a relationship over punctuation. Her Beau did not use an exclamation point when, as Elaine surmised, it was clearly necessary.
It sounds a teeny bit ridiculous. Ending a relationship over something so silly? If I had ended my relationship over such trivial things my husband and I would not have lasted 20 years. More like two days.
It is obvious to most of course that this was not the real reason but rather was an excuse. We all have heard of those people who have a fear of commitment who breakup using ridiculous reasons purely out of fear.
I read somewhere once about a woman who ended a relationship because her boyfriend did not fill up her ice cube trays fully. She realised quickly though that this was a metaphor for their relationship. He did not fill up her ice cubes trays. He was 75% in all he gave to her. So perhaps then this was fair enough?
I must admit to having my own silly quirks. I have in fact thought about ending friendships over spelling. Not just any spelling. I make my fair share of spelling errors. But rather over the spelling of my name. It is Kellie not Kelly. Simple really. There it is in all its glory to the side of my picture on facebook, in my bio on twitter and in my email signature. If you have seen it once you really should get it right.
Only people don’t. I get emails, letters and comments in facebook statuses addressed to Kelly on a regular basis by people, even family members, whom have known me for years. Most of the time I simply laugh it off but at some days I just want to scream to the heavens. Why can’t people pay attention and read what is in front of them?
So it is possible I think to break a romance or a friendship over something simple like punctuation, grammar or spelling or even squeezing the toothpaste tube the wrong way. Because it is a signal of someone not paying the attention they should. Not respecting someone enough. That, if done repeatedly can be a huge black mark against someone. If they don’t concentrate on the little things then how will they be on the big things?
Or perhaps I am being way too harsh. Lives are fast paced these days. People are busier than they have ever been and often not concentrating on little details really just means their brains have taken up everything concentrating on the big things and the details get missed. No reflection on anyone intended.
I read a heartbreaking story yesterday of a father who upon arriving to pick up his son from childcare was made aware the boy had never arrived. They found him dead strapped into his car seat. This father had forgotten to drop him off. But in his head he had done just that. Psychologists and experts said he was not to blame. Our minds sometimes do things in order to make us function better. We go on auto pilot. Somehow a switch flipped in his brain that said he had dropped his son off at day care as per usual.
So if a perfectly rational, normal, caring, busy father can forget that which is most precious to him then perhaps I can forgive someone who spells my name wrong? I think I can.
Perhaps there is something to learn here though. We all need to slow down. Maybe just a little bit but we need to be more aware of what is going on around us at any particular moment. If we read something then we should read it entirely and fully absorb it. If we are watching a movie then we should put away our phones and tablets and actually just pay attention to the movie. You get the picture. If we all lived in the moment a bit more, trying to stop our minds racing to the next thing we must do, then perhaps we might take in the small details that may just make a difference to someone else.
