Writers - why not give a character an unusual phobia? There are so many to choose from!

There are so many more phobias in existence than I ever thought possible. I found out in an unusual way. I was mucking around with one of those apps for writers where you can look through lists of names, occupations, body types and all sorts of things supposedly to help you get over any writers block that has you wondering - 'just who is the character?' Or else when on page 63 you suddenly think you need to know the occupation of one of your characters and for the life of you can't think of one ...

So anyway there's an app for that. But what this app can also provide you with is a list of phobias. What if you decide one of your characters should have a phobia? I mean spiders is a bit obvious as is heights. So instead why don't you try finding an unusual phobia even if the particular phobia you choose might never actually become at all relevant in your story? Here's a few ideas to get you started.

How about auroraphobia? Which is the fear of the Northern Lights. Presumably this happens to people who live where the northern lights can be seen and have some terrible childhood memory of thinking the lights indicated the sky was falling or something. So the minute they were old enough they fled to more southern areas of the globe and now tell everyone they meet of their terrible phobia and how it nearly ruined their life. Or maybe people simply develop the fear spontaneously never having seen the Northern Lights ...Which poses its own set of problems.

How about barophobia? That's fear of gravity - no I didn't make that up. Where are these people? How do they survive from day to day?

Then there is something that some of you might actually relate to which is syngenesophobia; the fear of relatives. Thinking of setting your book around Christmas time? What a perfect phobia for someone to have. The hilarious scenarios write themselves.

Now here's a good one - xanthophobia which is the fear of the colour yellow or the word yellow. Throw in a scene featuring a beloved childhood big bird toy along with a disastrous visit to a paint shop. Or else an unsuspecting partner suggesting Yellow as a safe word? Pizza and Movie night? Just remember nothing with Minions in it. It is probably also a good idea to hide that Minions onesie.

Then there is plutophobia; a fear of wealth which would be an interesting one. At least you could actually introduce a character happy in a low paying job they love. There’s a character you could do something with. His plutophobia might mean he is constantly giving away his possessions much to the disgust of his other half ... If he has one.

Now how do you make someone housebound? Perhaps you need a device in order for them to require someone else to do all the leg work but agoraphobia is too obvious? Simply give them a fear of walking or ambulophobia. This could work too if you have an ongoing theme of delivery drivers you want to introduce into the story.

You could try for irony and have an archaeologist as a protagonist who tragically suffers from atephobia - fear of ruin or ruins. Or a farmer with alektorophobia - which is a fear of chickens. What about a lighthouse keeper with climacophobia - fear of stairs, climbing, or of falling downstairs? Then again it would be easy to slip in a character who suffers from epistemophobia - fear of knowledge as I believe many people in the world seem to suffer from that ... Alas.

Not quite sure how you could write this one in - euphobia which is a fear of hearing good news but it should be easy to have someone with ergophobia or a fear of work - especially if you fancy writing a few good arguments.

Let's face it - you name it and someone somewhere has a phobia of it. Fear of wind, flowers, and garden gnomes to name just another 3. All manner of things send otherwise ordinary people into a spin. All writers need to make their characters interesting. They need to have flaws or eccentricities, face challenges and even have severe emotional conditions in some cases. So why not throw in an unusual phobia? At the very least it will give your agent or editor a good laugh. 

The Xmas Tree Run - Xmas Tree #KellsWritingChallenge

Well I'm one day late with the final prompt. I hope I'm forgiven. I hesitated to share this but figured why not? I wrote this short story many years ago. I think maybe 15-20 years ago. For some reason after I had written the prompts I just knew I had to dig it out! I've had a quick read through and edited some obvious errors. Otherwise... It is as it was... So please be kind! 

The Christmas Tree Run

Doug heard the truck before he saw it. It always made that same loud croaking sound as though every turn of the wheel was an effort. Old Mike was always tinkering with it. Every Sunday afternoon he was under it, looking under the bonnet or washing it. Funny thing was it always looked the same; old, dusty and out of condition.

Mike pulled up to a sudden halt and almost ran over Doug's foot. Doug was used to it though, Mike's driving was notorious. He stepped back just in time. A bit of mud splashed on his boots but he paid no heed. He held his jacket to him firmly as he prepared to step into the truck.

The evening was damp and cold despite the season and Doug was pleased to get out of the weather, even if it was into Mike's old, unreliable truck. The smell he noticed straight away was dog; he turned his head and saw Cobber curled up on the back seat, sleeping soundly. Did Mike ever give that dog a bath? Actually he wondered whether Mike ever bathed himself. Tonight he looked much like he usually did. He had a big oversized grey coat on which he wore everywhere. Doug suspected it had once been white or cream coloured. Mike's eyes looked through heavy lids; he smoked continuously and thus always smelled of it. His boots were always muddy and his hair was greying more every day. He was wearing his usual bright smile though. He had a good heart underneath it all.

Mike had the radio on, a country station. He was known to sing along but Doug cautioned him that they were on a mission tonight and they should try and be quiet, noises from the truck notwithstanding.  Mike turned the radio off. Doug breathed a sigh of relief. He was not in the mood for Mike’s singing.

The next pick up was Sam. He always came along on the trip every year even though he did nothing but complain about Christmas. Everything was too much bother for too little return. He needed a tree though; his wife would kill him if he did not get a tree for Christmas.

They might not be able to afford much else but all the families in the town would have a tree. All thanks to Mike, Doug and Sam doing the run through the forest in Mike's old truck. It had become something of a tradition. Even in the years that the crops were good and people had money, which were few and far between, they still did the Christmas tree run.

Sam was waiting impatiently. They could see him moving from foot to foot as though he was under orders not to stand still. Mike pulled up abruptly and Sam jumped in the back, earning himself a dirty look from Cobber.

'Get out of it' Sam gestured to the dog, who was stretched out over most of the back seat but Cobber stayed put. Sam squeezed in next to him. He knew better than to argue. 'You took your time. A man could freeze to death out there waiting for you mob' Sam complained

'Shut up Sammy, I got here didn't I? Anyway it aint cold, just nippy' Mike stated.

They headed off in the usual direction, which meant driving out of town. This did not take long - there was not much town. They proceeded cautiously, by Mike’s standards anyway, as there were no streetlights farther than a certain point and the roads could be dangerous. Mike declared he knew them like the back of his hand but that did not stop Sam and Doug clutching the sides of their seats or anything else that came to hand whenever Mike took a corner. Even Cobber kept shifting closer to Sam.

‘Ok, Usual place then?’ Mike said the same thing every year. The others nodded and grunted at him.

‘Nearly there’ said Mike after they had driven for another five minutes or so. Cobber barked at nothing in particular and Doug assumed he had heard and was happy that the trip would be soon be ending.

‘What was that?’ Mike said startled.

‘It was your bloody dog you idiot’ Sam replied

‘No not that! I’m not that bloody stupid, I thought I heard a car’

‘A Car? Who else other than us would be so stupid to be out here in the middle of the night?’ Sam asked, shaking his head.

Doug was keeping out of it. Every year it was the same. Mike always heard something and got spooked.

‘It could be the cops, they might be on to us’ Mike said as he kept looking around almost as though he was expecting someone to pop up at the window.

‘You say that every year Mike and it’s never the cops’ Doug had to say something. In any case it was a bit overboard to talk about ‘the cops’ where they lived. There were two policeman and both would be sound asleep in their beds.

‘Yeah well, it could be them. They have nothing much else to do and I’m sure that new sergeant was looking funny at me yesterday’

‘Everyone looks funny at you Mike’ Sam laughed.

‘Cheeky sod’ Mike said under his breath. That was the end of the scare for this year Doug hoped.

 The car stopped and they all got out. Cobber jumped out excitedly and raced into the clearing. Mike was unperturbed ‘He’ll be back’

The three men lifted the axes out of the back of the car and each took a large torch. Doug was first to shine his torch and find a circle of trees that would make perfect Christmas trees. ‘Over here’ he called, ‘Have a look at these beauties’

‘Golly they get better every year, I reckon these will reach the ceilings by Christmas day’ Sam stated.

They got started and chopped down six of the perfect Christmas trees. Sam gave up after one tree as his hand was giving him ‘gip’. Something it seemed to do whenever there was hard work involved.

‘How many do we need Sam?’ Doug called out as he wiped his brow; he was not cold anymore.

‘Ten. Mrs. Daley wants one this year.’ Sam replied, checking his tatty notebook.

‘ I thought she hated Christmas?’ Mike asked perplexed. He was loading what they had cut down onto the back of the truck. He noticed one that was smaller than the others and made a mental note to give that one to Mrs. Daley.

‘Yeah well she has not been the same since that last stroke has she? She even waved at me the other day.’

‘Funny that. When my old Nan had a stroke she turned into a real crabby old bag and she had always been really nice.’ Mike said.

Sam laughed ‘Yeah I guess that what happens after you have a stroke, your personality reverses.'

They all laughed but Mike stopped short. ‘What was that?’ He stopped dead in his tracks and flashed his torch every which way.

Sam and Doug cracked up laughing. 

‘Nothing you fool, even if it was something do you think shining your torch around like that is gonna help? They are probably coming for us now because you showed em where we are!’ Doug was trying hard not to laugh as he spoke.

‘Yeah whatever, lets just get this finished’. Mike was obviously embarrassed.

Sam must have been in a good mood as he picked up an axe to help and they got the job finished within no time.

Mike whistled for Cobber who came running and dived onto the backseat and spread out before Sam had a chance to get in. ‘Bloody dog’ Sam quipped.

Doug offered to swap seats but Sam declined. Doug often thought that Sam just liked having something to complain about.

They headed back into town and Mike was on the look out as his paranoia rose to new heights. Sam and Doug kept tapping the seat just to see Mike jump and repeat his ’they are coming to get us’ routine. 

They arrived at the edge of town and Mike slowed down. ‘Where to first?’ He asked

‘Old Harry’s place is closest’. Sam replied. He was right; they went to Harry’s place first every year.

Mike reversed the truck into Harry’s driveway and Doug got out and placed a tree behind the Car Port. No light came on. Harry could sleep through anything. They continued to do the same in each house that wanted a tree.

They were down to three trees. One for each of them. Doug was exhausted and was glad that Mike was dropping him home first. He reached over to pat Cobber and got out and unloaded his tree.

‘See you tomorrow for a beer’ He said as he closed the truck door.

‘Yep’ Sam replied and Mike nodded.

They headed back towards Sam’s and little was said, as they were both tired. Mike’s head pricked up and Sam was about to laugh when he saw the headlights in the rear view mirror.

Sam gulped ‘I think they want us to pull over Mike.'

‘Yep, I reckon they do’ Mike was surprisingly calm.

Mike pulled over. Sergeant Walsh pulled up behind them and got out of his car. He left the headlights on and they shone brightly. Sam wanted to cover his eyes. He was reminded of scenes in the movies where the police would blind people with lights to intimidate them. It worked.

Every step the policeman took felt like an eternity. Sam did not dare look at Mike, as he feared he might start laughing. He looked down at his feet as though he was trying to hide. Mike clutched the steering wheel and took deep breaths. Only Cobber spoke, he did not like the headlights either.

‘Hey, Mike isn’t it?’ The sergeant put his head through the passenger window, which Mike had opened in anticipation of this.

‘Yep and this is Sam’ Mike gestured to the back seat without turning his head; he could have been referring to Cobber.

‘Yeah'  the sergeant smiled and nodded, 'I've seen you both around but what with trying to get to know people since I moved here I haven’t had the chance to speak to everyone’ His tone was friendly, jolly even. Both Mike and Sam sat rigid totally unsure of what to say or do.

‘Well anyway Mike, I tried to get your attention yesterday but you mustn’t have seen me. I would like a tree.’ the sergeant stated simply.

Mike and Sam both stared at him blankly. 'A Tree? For Christmas?’ It was Mike that had gathered his composure first.

‘Um, yes... If that's okay? I suppose you don’t have any spare?’ The Sergeant looked hopeful.

Mike took a minute gulping again; somehow he found his voice,  ‘Of course Sarge. We will follow you home and you can have one of the spares on the back’ Mike managed, trying not to laugh...or cry.

‘Cheers gents, I will show you the way’. The sergeant got back in his car and Mike waited for him to take off so that he could follow.

Sam found his voice; ‘Spares!! What bloody spares? They are our trees!’

‘I bloody well know that. Did you think I should say no? To a copper? Who wants a tree that he knows as well as everybody damn else in this town that we got illegally?' Mike had been driving as he spoke. He was not entirely sure where the new sergeant lived but hoped it was close.

‘Yeah I suppose, But he ain’t having mine’. Sam was adamant

‘Whatever Sam, I’m willing to give mine up. Sal wants to buy one of those plastic ones this year anyway – she reckons they make really nice big ones and you can just pack em away and bring em out each year.'

Sam shook his head. A plastic tree from the shop? Whatever next! 

They arrived at the sergeant’s house and dropped off the tree among promises to meet up for a drink.

Driving back to Sam’s, Mike was quiet. He pulled into Sam’s driveway and refused to help his friend unload his tree.

‘See you tomorrow for a beer around lunch?' Sam asked through the passenger window as he held the tree precariously.

‘Yep, sure thing. Hey Sam?’ Mike called as Sam had started to walk off.

‘Yeah?’

‘Did you find that new copper kinda weird.'

‘Weird?’

‘Yeah, you know...friendly like’

‘Twas a bit odd I suppose, but we should be bloody thankful!' Sam scratched his head with his free hand. 'I mean next year we won’t have to worry about going in the bloody dark if we have the bloody local copper wanting a tree!’ 

‘Dunno about that one Sam’ Mike stated seriously, shaking his head. Sam waited for Mike to say more, but he didn't. He waved, not very enthusiastically, and drove away noisily. How did they ever think they could do anything covert in that truck? 

It had been a weird night that was for certain. Sam went inside and put the tree in the living room and actually smiled. He couldn't wait to see Doug and tell him what had happened. He couldn't help but wonder if their annual tradition was suddenly over. But no, the annual Christmas tree run was not at end, Mike had a whole year to come up with some new danger.

.