From the Vault of old Blogs... What's in a name?

Lazy today. Well actually not lazy but rather the muse has completly left me. I have written two blogs both of which I have rejected as utter rubbish. So I thought I would bring you something from the vault! I may well keep doing this if it proves popular (with myself anyway..) So here is a blog I wrote back in 2008 about the great game of Rugby League and the great Australian tradition of nicknames...

The Hill at Henson Park had somewhat of a reputation for being uncomfortable and crowded. Crowded, because every weekend the Newtown jets played at home, we would all head to the ground and park ourselves on the hill to watch the game. Comfort was just not a factor. Mum and Dad would sometimes bring little fold up chairs, a blue rug to cover mum's knees in the winter. Always with her was a transistor radio to listen to the commentary and her copy of the Big League so as to be able to name every player and possibly keep tab of the penalties.

My sister and I would wear Newtown beanies when it was cold and eat meat pies and sometimes run around paying football with other kids. Sometimes we would even watch the game, totally captivated, if we happened to be winning. Eventually we would get season tickets in the grandstand but the memory of the noisy crowded hill lingers.

Over the hum of the crowd Dad would occasionally throw Mum a question. 'Who is the ref?' 'Who was that bloke that just dropped the bloody ball?' 'Who just came on as a replacement?'

Mum would use her binoculars and consult her Big League to answer the questions. My questions generally went along the lines of 'Can I have an ice cream? Or 'when does the big game start?' She did not have to consult her Big League or the binoculars for those.

'So who came on as the replacement?'
'What'
'Who came on as the replacement?'
'What'
'I SAID!! - WHO CAME ON AS THE REPLACEMENT??'
'I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID!!- IT WAS WATT!!!'

I am not making this up – it actually happened. A man named Watt came on as a replacement and much hilarity ensued.

So what is in a name? Generally Rugby league players go by a nickname. I am not sure what they called the fellow Watt but most players rarely get called by the name they were christened with.

I have a greater understanding of the game these days and am as fanatical as my mother was then. The Newtown Jets are no more and neither is Balmain, the club that replaced Newtown in my affections. Now my affections lay totally with the Wests Tigers, an amalgamation of Balmain and Wests.

I watch the Footy Show on a regular basis which is hosted by guys that used to play when I was younger. They may no longer be playing but they still seem to unable to appreciate the concept of a Christian name.

The footy show host, Paul Vautin is still (affectionately) called 'Fatty' or 'The fat man'. They even use it on the promos for the show. Really – 'The footy show hosted by the great Fatty Vautin. He is joined by Sterlo, The Chief and Matty with guest appearance by The Falcon.'

Some of my favorite players ever from the great Balmain team of the late 80's must sometimes have to look at their birth certificates to remember their names. There was 'Jimmy' Jack, 'Junior' Pearce, 'Blocker' Roach.

Yes just for the record Blocker was not known for his brains but also the terms suited his build and how it felt when you ran into him…

Then there was poor Paul Sironnen who only got 'Siro'. I suppose there is something to be said for having a name that shortens easily into a nickname rather than having to come up with something appropriate to the player's personality or the like.

These days' things are bit less interesting with name shortening being the option most taken. Though Andrew Johns was (and still is, in retirement) known as 'Joey'. His brother Matthew simply got Matty. Thought thinking about it, Andy would not have suited Joey at all…

So anyway in the Tigers, Brett Hodgson gets Hoddgo, Benji Marshall gets well Benji… I have no idea if his real name is actually Benjamin but he has only ever been known as Benji, even listed in the program. Or Robbie Farah. Is he a Robert? Same goes for The Storms Billy Slater. Is he really a William? Who Knows? Check the guides – he is listed as Billy. Does he have another nickname or is Billy enough?

Then there was the great Laurie Daley. Was he ever a Lawrence? Or Willie Mason? When did he decide he would be professionally known as Willie? Not that you would ever ask lest you get your head bashed in….

On a strange note Jonathan Thurston is known as Jonathan. I have never heard him referred to as John or Johnny. Very unusual, perhaps he is one of those people that insist he be called his full name. I wonder how he got into Rugby League?

Then there is the case of those that just have a great name to start with and have no need for anything else.

Ray Warren has been commentating for years and though he said some gems over the years he is always very careful to pronounce the names of the players correctly. As the game becomes more cosmopolitan his job is being made much harder. Little wonder some of the players resort to nicknames.

The classic at the moment and I mean no offence at all to this guy, who is a great player is Fuifui Moimoi. The commentators, including Rabbits (Ray Warren – get it?) love calling it when he gets the ball. They never use a nickname, his name is great enough. Neither do they simply say his surname (Moimoi) or his Christian name (Fuifui) but rather get a buzz out of shouting out the whole thing.

'The balls goes to ground and is picked up by FUIFUI MOIMOI!!!' It sounds as though he has won the game single handed every time he gets the ball. I have no idea if he has a nickname. I can only imagine.

Also enjoyable for Rabs and his ilk are Feleti Mateo and Setaimata Sa. The great coach and now commentator Phil 'Gus' Gould once said he longs for the day Setaimata and Fuifui are playing in the same game and involved in the same play just to test Rabbits' skills.

I think having a name like Braith Anasta is pretty cool as well. Can't think what you would shorten that too.

So while they might be prevalent in Rugby League I thinking shortening names and nicknames are something of an Australian institution.

There is something very informal about Australians and for some reason many of us feel that calling someone something different to their Christian name is a sign of affection. When people call me Kell for example I know they like me. Why else would they call me that?

So while many non Australians might be thinking we are all a bit strange. The truth is if you are being called Robert or William by an Australian then chances are you either insist on being called that (and run the risk of being called something much worse), are sitting on the High Court of Australia or else they don't like you. Chances also are you don't play much Rugby League

I spent $25 on a showbag. Now you may chastise me...

I spent $25 on a show bag. Yep that’s right, I have now become one of those people that have justified the price of a show bag and so that is it, we can never go back. The prices will keep going up and up and I will not be able to complain. I am now part of the problem.

In my defence I would like to say it was for my son. It was a Thomas the Tank bag and the stuff in it was so great. I mean a little Thomas Umbrella? How could I NOT buy it? Nonetheless I did feel a sense of doing something wrong, something quite naughty once I decided to go ahead and do it!

I looked at the other bags and thought I don’t really want to get him a bag full of chocolate (I did of course buy myself a bag full of chocolate!) I told myself that the stuff in the Thomas bag was so cool and he would love it and isn’t that what a day at the show is all about? So I very shakily got my purse out and handed over the money, $31 in total for two (count em…) show bags.

My inner voice inside me was trying to get my attention whilst I was doing this to tell me how crazy it was to even think about spending that much money on a show bag. Where were my wits?  How can it be justified?

At the risk of sounding very old and annoying I want to say I remember what show bags used to cost. When I was a kid $5 was expensive for a show bag. If a parent bought you a $5 bag then you were thrilled and got to boast about it. Chances are you only got just that one bag as opposed to the other kids who got a whole heap of $2 bags. Of course those kids actually had more money spent on them overall but that was not the point. The $5 bags were prestigious, a symbol of decadence, something to salivate over and dream about.

I remember too when the $2 bags rose in price by 50 cents and how horrifying it was. My husband, bless him, remembers when show bags were actually still good old sample bags and free because they actually contained samples in them.

There were no licensed bags in my day though I do seem to recall them limping in sometime in my teens. No mostly they contained chips or chocolates and pathetic little toys. No My little Pony or Thomas or Sesame Street or anything that a small child might go nuts about. I seem to recall the odd non-food bag such as the Magic Bag which I really wanted one year but then decided against when upon closer viewing I discovered it was full of crap. Very clever of me I think to see through the marketing hype back then. Where has that person gone?

So now we have $25 bags and it would seem there is no shortage of people buying them for their kids. I got sucked in and I bet there are even some kids that get more than one of them. Imagine $50 on show bags?  Even $6 is steep really for a bag full of chocolate that probably costs less than that to buy at the supermarket. I imagine there are some people who refuse to buy them based on the crazy prices. I wish I was one of them.  I remember when my husband first expressed the thought to me; ‘Why not just go to the shop and buy some freddo’s?’  Was he kidding? Did he not see the point of THE SHOW BAG??

I am just thinking what I could do with $25 that does not involve buying one licenced bag and giving more proceeds to a company that must make a packet each year.  That is one very long list and would probably be very depressing if I wrote it down, so I won’t. I tell you what I will say, come up with a great concept for a kids TV show and have someone come on board to market the images of the cute characters on toys, toothbrushes, umbrella’s, socks, cartons of milk, ant farms etc and you will have it made.

So I am still calming down a little bit. One minute I tell myself that it is all fine. It is done now and can’t be undone and doesn’t that little backpack look just sooooo cute? At others I wonder what to make of myself. What have I become? Someone who has succumbed to hype about what is required for a good day out, someone lacking common sense and decency?

Yes folks, that is what I have become. I spent $25 on a show bag for my son and this is my confession. Now do with me what you will.

We can be heroes... Or can we?

Sergeant Maurice Vincent Buckley was born in Hawthorn, Victoria in 1891. When the First World War started he, like many other Aussies signed up and went to war. Something few 23 year olds today could even fathom. Like many young men he was probably looking forward to a great adventure only to be shocked by the death and destruction he would witness.

On the 18^th December 1918 Buckley was in France, at  Le Verguier, near St Quentin. That day Sergeant Buckley performed deeds that few of us will ever be in a position to perform. He ceased to be a regular soldier and became something quite special.

During an advance his battalion cleared several enemy outposts whilst setting off behind a creeping barrage. Two of these outposts fell to Buckley’s own gun. When a field gun held up one company Buckley rushed forward, shot the crew and ran under fire of machine guns across open ground to put a trench mortar out of action. He then fired into an enemy dugout and captured 30 German soldiers. By the time the sun set that night Buckley had rushed at least 6 machine gun positions, captured a field gun and taken nearly 100 prisoners.

For this amazing day of achievement Buckley was awarded the Victoria Cross. For those that do not know the Victoria Cross is the highest military decoration awarded for Valour in the face of the enemy. Just fewer than 100 have ever been awarded to Australians. VC winners are in a class of their own. They are true heroes. I can’t imagine there is one person who could read the above paragraph regaling Sergeant Buckley’s ‘day at the office’ and say that these actions were not those of someone deserving of the term ‘hero.’ I in fact thought ‘wow!’ I may have even said it aloud and had to pause for a few seconds before starting to write about it. I imagine any descendants of Sergeant Buckley would be very proud indeed.

Though while we might all agree that Sergeant Buckley is a hero there has been some interesting conversation this week about who can truly be labelled a hero. A great favourite of mine is the site Mamamia (http://www.mamamia.com.au). It has some excellent writer’s sharing news and stories and is always a great read. Mia herself appears on the Sunrise program on a regular basis and this week happened to mention that she thought Cadel Evans should not be labelled a hero. This was the day after he won the Tour De France and the reaction was just crazy. She was attacked and abused from all sides for daring to pour water on Cadel’s achievement.

Now I am not going to add to this discussion. I think Mia has the right to her opinion and those that abuse others who do not share their opinion are the lowest of the low. But it got me to thinking. Does Mia have a point? Can any sportsmen be compared to the likes of Sergeant Buckley? Do we in this country put sportsmen above all others? Should kids be looking up to firemen and policemen like they used to. You know people who actually risk their lives for others? Or is the term in fact much broader? People are pointing out that Cadel’s achievement may make kids take up exercise or realise they too can live their dream, whatever that dream may be. Is this not when coupled with the enormous physical and mental effort required to win such a race also to be considered heroic?

I want to tell you a story about me. When I was a little girl I was as usual ahead of the rest of the class in reading and got to read a book that no one else in the class could. It was a book about Sir Charles Kingsford Smith, the great Australian aviator.  It was of course edited for children and I did not find out till much later Smithy’s womaniser reputation or even the fact that he lost a few toes! But I was mesmerised nonetheless. I found his story fascinating. Imagine doing something like that? Flying around Australia and then the world and doing so in difficult conditions, always in fear something could go wrong. But insisting on doing it to achieve what no one else had ever achieved. I instantly had found my hero. I would tell anyone who asked who my hero was. I was quite thrilled to have discovered this man all by myself and that few others I knew had even heard of him or his great exploits.

Now there would be some people who might say Smithy was not a hero. He didn’t cure cancer or save lives. What he did was mostly for personal gain like a sportsman. So what if back then someone had sat me down and explained that while I could look up to Smithy I should not label him a hero. Then they would point and say, ‘See that man over there? He is a fire fighter and he saved two young children from a burning house yesterday, he is a hero.’ I think in fact I would have indeed admired the fire fighter but he would not have fired the passion within me that Smithy had. In fact I think I would have been very upset if someone had said something like that to me. Why couldn’t Smithy be my hero?

What is a hero then? Does it require a feat like Sergeant Buckley’s or can it be more narrowly applied?  I think a trip to the dictionary is in order. Some definitions I have found for the word hero are;

“a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.”

“a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal: He was a local hero when he saved the drowning child. “

“a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability”

“an illustrious warrior”

“a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities”

“one who shows great courage”

It is pointed out on many sites as well that the word comes from the ancient Greek and the first heroes’ were warriors or even demi gods. The word has evolved of course but how much has it evolved? Brave deeds, noble qualities and achievements. These seem to be the basic tenets. We could look them up in the dictionary too and keep going till we get to the bottom of it! What is brave? Must one risk their lives to be brave?

Is every soldier brave? I imagine not. I think there are plenty of soldiers or policemen or fire fighters who are not brave at all and simply do their job. Perhaps there are some that might pass the buck and make someone else run into a burning building or into machine gun fire. Some nurses might not give two hoots about the patients they treat. Someone working on a cure for cancer might be doing so purely for the glory, to have their names go down in history.  

Conversely it could be argued plenty of sportspeople are brave and even have noble qualities. Some may truly want to inspire others. Plenty of course wish only for the glory for themselves but if it happens to inspire people anyway? There is something to be said of course for living your passion, doing what you do best and love doing. If your passion is swimming then don’t become a fire fighter to save lives. Your heart will not be in it. Of course this does not mean you will be a hero but seldom is that something anyone sets out to do.

I’m not sure if I can answer the question of what should constitute a hero. I’m beginning to think it might be subjective. Even one of the definitions above implies that if some people think a person is a hero then they are a hero at least to those people. Adolf Hitler is seen as a hero by some. I think this is appalling but that does not change the fact that he is a hero to some people.

I think Ned Kelly should not be seen as a hero. I remember having a bit of a heated facebook chat with someone about it once. She insisted he was a hero. I think he is certainly an important historical figure and I do in fact have some sympathy for him but to see someone who resorted to terrorist tactics when the chips were down is wrong in my opinion and thus he should not be seen as a hero. Plenty would disagree with me.

So I am not going to say that Mia was right or wrong. She was right to think what she thinks and people who say Cadel is a hero are right to think what they think. But I have to talk about one other point. I think Mia is absolutely right when she says that there are many unsung heroes in this country that do not get a look in but should. Here she is talking about fire fighters and the like that risk their lives but are paid a pittance compared to sportspeople and who do not seek or gain any personal glory.

Something indeed needs to be done about this. I am happy for kids to have Cadel or other sportspeople as heroes so long as they also understand what regular people do to keep them safe and well. It is a shame that so many of us see being rich and famous as an achievement in itself. Few see working hard to bring in a wage as something worth doing even if you might save a life while you are at it.

There is a need for us to stop this cult of celebrity and start realising that people are just people and acting or singing and being well paid for it does not make these people god like. Sportspeople who perform amazing feats might be considered heroic but we must remember others as well. This is where the media really do need to get involved. We all want to read about the latest or what is happening in the celebrity world. I for one know I would love to read about the exploits of regular people. I do not mean having reality TV shows that turn everyday people into celebrities. This is something I fail to understand and is a subject in itself!

No what I mean is how about regular stories about fire fighters or nurses? Why can’t we pick up a magazine and read about the day in a life of someone who saves lives for a living? I’m sure there are plenty of tales to be told. I imagine some days are boring but some must be packed full of funny stories and stories to make you cry and gasp. Much more interesting then who Jenifer Anniston might be dating or even how much an English football player is being paid this year.

By all means give the likes of Cadel their day in the sun as his was an amazing achievement but let us not forget other things going on in the world. Let us remember the likes of Sergeant Buckley who made this country a safer place. Let’s tell our kids about the amazing things everyday people do. When we select our heroes let’s look honestly at why we choose them. What it is about this person that makes me see him or her as a hero? Are they brave? Noble? If you think so then fine. At the end of the day whoever you see as a hero is truly up to you.

People don’t choose to become heroes. Other people make them such by calling them that. Of course people are more likely to be called heroes if they are read about in a magazine or a book. I read a book about Smithy. People see sportspeople and their achievements all over the news. When do we see anything about people like Sergeant Buckley or brave fire fighters? Maybe a small snippet of news then it is gone forever. Let’s work on changing that.

I have been thinking about Smithy. Of course he did in fact serve his country and was awarded The Military Cross for gallantry in service. So I think by my standards he is still quite worthy of the hero status!

On a side note I feel obliged to let you all know that Sergeant Buckley did not live to a ripe old age. He died in 1922 from a horse riding accident. Imagine surviving the war only to die at home falling off a horse? It puts things in perspective doesn’t it?

Judging a book by its cover.. or a Blog as the case may be

I should be writing a blog right now. I should be coming up with something funny or informative to share with the world. What am I doing instead? Fighting with Blogger! That’s right! I hate the way my blog looks and I have been trying to fix it.

I am still not entirely happy with it but decided enough is enough for tonight and it will just have to do. But I am frustrated. There are so many nice looking blogs out there so why can’t I get mine to look nice?

First of all there seems to be a limited number of designs I can choose so that is not helpful for a start. Of course I am trapped within the realm of blogger rather than being able to make my own webpage but perhaps that is best for now. I can’t remember the last time I did anything with webpages and I have forgotten most of the HTML I learned for Ebay and Mypace. Small steps I think.

So I decided I could at least add some functions to my Blog. My twitter feed would be a great addition and it was so easy. I just clicked on a little button and this nice helpful box appeared and I popped my Twitter name in there and then it was on my page.  But then it disappeared. WTF? Where has it gone? Oh the box is there and it says Twitter but the feed is gone. So I click on the helpful little button again and I notice for the first time that those boxes that keep coming up at the bottom of my screen are actually Internet Explorer telling me that it is editing the page to prevent cross feeding. There is nothing I can click on to tell it that I want cross feeding and to leave things the bloody hell alone!

So I have given up. I will dredge through Internet Explorer tomorrow and try and find some settings to turn off so it will not interfere with my blog appearance. Or I may just take the short cut and ask hubby how to fix it! He will know right? He knows everything. But then again it has been a while since he has done any internet stuff. He does the most complex 3d animation work but I bet when I ask he may well just look at me blankly and I will be left on my own.

So this is how it is now? Writing comes with the necessity to be able to work with these gadgets and thingybobs in order to make your page look good so someone will want to read it? Are there people out there that click on a link to a blog and then close the page without reading it because they think the blog looks so last year or there is no twitter feed box or labels listed? How do they know they are not clicking away from the next big thing in writing?

If there had been blogs at the time what would Hemmingway’s have looked like? Or Jane Austen’s? Would they have even bothered? What about twitter or facebook? Can you imagine the tweets from Charles Dickens? Or Oscar Wilde?  Social media can be a great thing but you have to wonder if it is necessary. People managed to be successful writers before the internet was even invented. Was it harder for them or was it in fact easier?

But we live in a society where we do have the internet and we do have social media and so I suppose I should cut the whingeing. I know full well of course that appearances do matter.  They draw people in. People are not so stupid as to keep reading if they don’t like the content but chances are the look of something has had something to do with them being there in the first place.

It brings to mind of course the old adage that we should not judge books by their covers. We all do of course often in the greater arena to which the term applies such as judging people by the way they look but also about books themselves. There is so much more to books these days. Covers are an art form in themselves. They are designed to sell books, to hook people. A great cover will make you pick up the book and then depending on the kind of browser you are you may buy it based on that alone or read the blurb on the back. That too has to be great. It has to make you want to read the book. Chances are of course that the blurb is the most well written part of the book but once you are hooked you are hooked.

I have in the past been influenced by covers. I actually admit here to the whole world that I have bought bottles of wine because I liked the look of the label. Pathetic I know but there you have it. Sometimes the wine is great, other times average and sometimes so bad I will never buy it again.

So what does it all mean? The saying of course indicates we should not judge things merely by appearances for good or bad. A lovely label might equal crap wine. A horrible book cover may hide a masterpiece of fiction. A badly dressed slovenly person may be the best friend you could ever have if only you gave them a chance.

All these things are true but as human beings we are attracted to certain things. What is nice and attractive is different for all of us of course but many of us can not help ourselves if we see something that is visually appealing. We should then perhaps once attracted, pay close attention. Where is the wine from?  Is this a genre of fiction I usually read? What does the blurb or first paragraph tell me about the book? Is this person as nice as they look or do I feel uncomfortable with them once I have engaged with them?

Wise words indeed but it still does not answer how we manage to find the gems in the rough. The boring looking Blog pages which are actually great reads . The books with hideous covers that are masterpieces. Or the people who look scary but are in fact amazing.  What will make us look deeper to find these or will most of us not bother? It would be nice to think my writing will stand out no matter how it is presented but if I’m wise then I will help it along and make it look as nice as I can.

So that is my job over the next few weeks. I will come up with a great picture and try and iron out the problems. At some point I will probably move to wordpress so I have more options and maybe create my own website. No doubt all this will be fodder for future blogs so stay tuned.

In the meantime have a think about what you judge by its cover and how does that work out for you?

My Murder Mystery History

I’m doing something a bit different this week. I am not going to inform you of much or be preachy about anything (well maybe a little bit) but I just thought it would be nice to tell you all a story. It is a story of a woman who loves to read crime fiction. Who as my mother would put it, ’Loves a good murder.’ It all starts way back many years ago when I was a child when I first became aware such things existed.

My mum loves crime fiction, murder mysteries, basically anything where people die. As a child I found this very odd. She and my dad would watch every single program that had anything to do with death. Columbo was a favourite as was Quincy. Anyone remember Quincy? He was a medical examiner who solved the mystery of who killed whatever person ended up on his slab each week. Now I can’t have been too young as I suppose my mum would not have let me view such things when I was say a pre-schooler (although these type of shows were much less gruesome then they are these days) but I remember catching a few minutes of the show here and there and finally one week declaring in a somewhat exasperated manner that this was a horrible terrible show as someone dies every week!! This of course was met with much guffawing and some explanation along the lines of, ‘Well that is kind of the point.” I was completely bewildered and wondered whether other kids had parents who watched such strange TV shows.

Of course my mum was a reader too and read crime novels. I’m sure my dad read a few too. My mum still devours them with relish. I can’t recall ever really taking too much notice except for going through titles on the bookshelf and stumbling upon ‘An unsuitable job for a woman.’ I read the dust jacket and for about two years wanted to be a Vet. But that is a different story.

I was a reader and writer from a very young age and still love both. I always read way above my class level and just couldn’t get enough of it. There are plenty of crime readers out there who started with Nancy Drew or the Famous Five. I am not one of them. I do however recall reading Encyclopaedia Brown books. They stick out in my memory as books of my childhood. I don’t know if I could have put it in to words at the time but I loved the feeling of solving a puzzle. Of course there were no murders in them but there were mysteries that needed to be explained. I was enthralled by the notion of having to read something really carefully, taking note of every detail in order to be able to crack the puzzle. Best of all was the feeling of ‘a ha!’ when the mystery had been solved; the feeling that I had managed to work it out. Or even when I was completely clueless about the solution once it was revealed I could sort through the clues in my mind and think, ‘How did I not see that? I must take better care next time!’

I kept reading as I moved into my teens and was determined to read adult books. I did read some slushy teenage garbage but mostly I wanted to read classic novels or sophisticated stories. Most probably I was just trying to look smart but the results were wonderful. I found some treasures like ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ and ‘Wuthering Heights.’ Both of which are two of my favourite books to this day. But one day I found myself carting along to school for the newly established reading time a copy of ‘The Thirty Nine Steps,’ What possessed me to choose such a book? I really can’t remember and that is strange because normally my memory for detail is exceptional but there you go possibly the most poignant part of the whole story and I can’t explain it properly. The only thing I can put it down to was that it was and still is considered a classic novel and that is perhaps what drew me. Or perhaps it was one of those books on the bookshelf and it just intrigued me or maybe it was just in my genes and fate made me find it.

Whatever the case I enjoyed it immensely. Of course it is considered more a thriller then a crime novel but nonetheless still has the basic fundamental basis of solving a mystery or a puzzle. Though I think I still did not see it. I did not make the connection between the feelings of satisfaction I got from reading this and the Encyclopaedia Brown books and my mum’s obsession with crime novels. I did not appreciate I was being lured into a ‘genre.’ A word that was probably unknown to me at the time.

Again I do not recall what inspired me to pick up an Agatha Christie for the first time. Again perhaps it was fate or perhaps there was just a copy lying about the place. But whatever it was the moment that changed my life. The book was ‘The Murder of Roger Ackroyd’ and I was blown away. I thought this was the most amazing thing in the world. To think that this woman could tell a story like that and have me sucked in wondering with eager anticipation who had committed the crime then completely knocking my socks off with the solution. I thought then and still do today that this woman was a genius. If I ever got my hands on a time machine she would be one of the people I would go back to meet.

Thus my love affair started in earnest. Somewhere along the line I started reading the same books as my mother. Following on the heels of Christie was a Colin Dexter, one I’m certain my mum had read before me. I also started watching the shows too and at no time did my mum give me an, ‘I told you so!’

I do remember the first murder mystery I ever solved for myself and that was ‘Murder on the Orient Express.’ I was super thrilled with myself! Though solving them is not really the point at least not for me. Often I will get a little bit right but not the whole story. Personally I prefer it that way. I love being surprised. My mum of course can solve the mystery within the first 5 chapters or within the first 10 minutes of the show. I say very little now when we sit together and watch something lest I get a, ‘You mean you haven’t worked that out yet?’

Of course once I did start reading crime novels on a regular basis I began to understand the term genre and found something out about the history of crime stories. I’m sure there is no other genre that has such a rich and interesting history but then again I am biased.

Learning this made me realise too that suddenly I was considered slightly less scholarly than some. I was completely overcome to discover that some people consider the genre an inferior one and one that is read by those unlikely to read more serious literature. I scoff at that! It’s a load of crap to be blunt. I read classics and books considered literature too but even if I didn’t I can’t see there is anything dumbed down about murder mystery or crime fiction. These require intelligence to write and intelligence to read. I would not judge anyone by what they read. I would not have much in common with someone who only reads romance novels but I would never label them unintelligent for their choice. I hate literary snobbery and can’t really believe it exists. We are all lovers of the written word and that is what is important.

I have seen many changes over the years. There are so many different types of crime novels now. The traditional cozy a la Agatha Christie has been joined by violent crime thrillers. We have serial killers and psychopaths now. Advances in science mean crimes are solved using blood platter pattern analysis, DNA evidence, profiling and various other methods. I probably know more about crime scene procedure then I really should. I’m not saying I could actually be a profiler but then again I seem to be getting the hang of it. There are entire series now based around profilers or those that analyse trace evidence and some of them are very good. There will always be room for good old fashioned detective work but now we have a choice. Do we want to delve into the minds of a killer? Do we want violent crimes described in great detail? Do we want to learn about knitting, making coffee or baking cakes while we solve a mystery? All these choices are available and more!

With the expansion of the genre and the amount of books out there seems to bring with it more and more criticism. There are many that find difficulties with the cozy amateur sleuth mystery. You really have to suspend belief to accept that a florist or café owner decides to investigate a murder and somehow manages to do so. Also when it is a series it is even harder to believe. I mean how many dead bodies have you come across in your life? And if you did come across one would you be inspired to solve the murder yourself?  But a good crime writer will make it totally plausible and you won’t even question it whilst reading the book.  Of course when you put the book down you might find yourself thinking that a hell of a lot of people get murdered in such a small town! But if the book hooked you and you are ready to pick up the next in the series then it really does not matter.

Also I find it a bit crazy when the professional sleuth whether they are a detective or medical examiner or DA is almost always targeted by the people they investigate. One series I read and enjoy mostly for its element of humour as well as sheer grossness of the killing methods has the detective being attacked, kidnapped, tortured or abused in almost every book. I mean how much bad luck can you get? Wouldn’t she change jobs? Wouldn’t she be a complete and utter basket case? Yet I keep reading them don’t I?

So where am I now? I am nearly 40 years old and still love reading crime fiction. I am lucky that there are thousands of great crime writers out there just waiting to be discovered by me. I love it when I find an author for the first time and love their work and then find there are 14 more in the series for me to track down. It is an amazing feeling. I am currently discovering a plethora of incredible Scandinavian crime writers. They have an amazing ability to pull you into the story. The backdrops are spectacular featuring dark and harsh winter’s that can be killers in themselves. I am also discovering how wonderful it is when even after all these years I just never see the twist coming. Jeffrey Deaver did it to me again last night. Just when I thought I was on the right track…

So could I write a murder mystery? I’d like to think I could but not sure it is on the agenda just yet but maybe one day. It is in my genes after all.

The Myth of Multitasking

I read an article recently that blew my mind. It was about multitasking or actually about not multitasking because you see we actually don’t at all. It is not possible, a total myth! There is no such thing. Are you getting the point? Like me you may be initially sceptical. After all we all know that multitasking is one of those things that employers and job agencies prize. It is asked in interviews. If you can’t multitask they don’t want you. Turns out for every multi tasker these employers are hiring they should be hiring someone to check their work.

Of course I know there are some things we can do at the same time. We can walk while sipping a drink or watch TV while eating. But these are simple tasks. What we are talking about here are tasks that are high demand and require a deal of concentration or thinking.

You may think you can easily type up a report (or memo or paper or whatever) and not pause to take a phone call from a colleague about a meeting. But just think about usually happens in this instance. It may go something like this. You put down the phone and review the paragraph you just wrote. There might be a few spelling errors you have to correct or perhaps it does not quite sound right and you have to tinker with it or maybe it makes no sense whatsoever so you delete it and start again. The suddenly you think; ’what time did he say the meeting was? Was it 3? I think it was 3 or maybe it was 3:30?’ So you ring and double check the time joking to your colleague that you must be getting old to have forgotten. Ha ha!!

So how much times have you saved by multitasking? If you had in fact given your full attention to the phone call then gone back to your typing you would have in fact saved time. Instead you are convinced you have done two things at once and that you are really efficient.

The truth really is staring us in the face. If you want to do something well you have to concentrate on it. We all know that yet we insist on this multitasking being the be all and end all of an efficient person.

When I thought about writing this blog based on the one article I read I wondered how widely spread this idea was. Turns out it is gaining force. Google multitasking myth and there are numerous entries. Scientific reports and all matter of discussions about it. There are even books on the subject.

It really changed the way I thought about things. I thought I was a multi tasker. But thinking about it since reading this article I realised I am not really. I can do jobs well and quickly but I can’t effectively do two things at once. There is something to be said of course for someone who can effectively manage a huge workload of different tasks and do them quickly but this is not multitasking. There needs to be another word for it because even if we switch from one task to the next and back again we are still in effect only doing one thing at a time and that switch costs us time and energy. Far better for the compliment to be that one ‘singletasks’ then moves onto the next. Not quite as catchy I know… I need to work on that one!

Imagine for a second you are folding towels while chatting to a friend on the phone. Now this could well be one of those simple examples like watching TV and eating. They can be done at the same time. But then again think about it. During a difficult part of the conversation where you need to either listen closely or think about a response what are your hands doing? They are almost certainly running over the edge of the towel back and forth or smoothing out the towel as though you are lovingly stroking a pet or they could be fiddling with the label. They are not actively folding the towel. You have had to pause in the act of folding to think hard about what you are going to say.

It is little wonder that in the past more so then today it was considered very rude to do anything else while having a conversation with someone. It was well known there was an art in listening and doing something else meant you were not giving someone else your full attention. If you think you can fiddle on your phone while having a conversation with someone well think again and try to recall what it is you were talking about. People are quick to put it down to bad memory but chances are you would remember if you actually concentrated on listening

Of course women won’t be happy about this as supposedly multitasking is what we women do and men just cannot do. But perhaps we just prioritise better.  If my hubby goes to make tea and toast chances are he makes the toast and then the tea. Whereas I would put the kettle on first as I know while that is boiling I can get together all the bits and pieces I need. Time it just right to put the toast on so everything is ready pretty much at the same time. Of course I have not really multi tasked as I have only done one thing at a time but I did them in an order that made sense for time management.

Then again if I chopped and changed about doing two very important things like different work projects it would be different. If I wrote a few sentences of this blog then flipped to another window and wrote a paragraph of a story I would be doing myself a disservice. My poor brain would have to keep snapping back into the world of the story, remember the characters and what they were doing and thinking, appreciate the change in tone and context and then flip back again. I may get both done by 12pm but will either be my best work? Chances are too if I did them separately I would still get them both finished by 12pm but just one after the other.

So what is the upshot of all this? Well personally I think we need to re-evaluate this whole nonsense of people being brilliant if they can do a number of things at once. Do something and do it well I say. We need to change the culture that requires people in the workplace to be like superman and think about what actually works best rather than what looks or sounds good.

Of course changing these things can be difficult. What would you do if you had a job interview tomorrow and you were asked if you were good at multitasking? Of course you could say no and explain that no one is and refer  them to this blog or it might be better just to say yes and then go on to do your work brilliantly and your boss will never know you took care to do one thing at a time.

I will leave you then with wise words from the first century BC (why do we assume we get smarter as mankind ages?)

“To do two things at once is to do neither” - Publilius Syrus, Roman slave, first century B.C.

Don't step in that work of Art! It's hell to get off your shoes...

The Art world is a funny world isn’t it? There seems to be stories coming along on a regular basis that make you wonder about modern art and what it takes to be considered a brilliant artist.

Imagine your surprise if you were wandering through an art gallery alternatively admiring paintings and trying to make sense of others and suddenly you find yourself sinking into the floor.  You have not fallen into a trance and imagining your body sinking deeper into relaxation but you have in fact wandered into an exhibit; an exhibit consisting of a pool of peanut butter. You step out quickly and look around you hoping no one has noticed but alas they have and you are in big trouble!

This in fact happened to a poor man in the Netherlands this week. He was not looking where he was going and trod into the exhibit which consisted of 1100 litres of peanut butter over 14 meters of space. To make matters worse his footprints are being considered damage which he has in fact been asked to pay for.

Now I can find a number of things hilarious about this story. This poor guy is sitting trying to regain his dignity and wipe the peanut butter off his shoes and he is told he is being held responsible for damage? Damage? It was peanut butter; what damage could he possibly have done? I don’t know why they don’t just have a trowel in a bucket next to the exhibit for such mishaps; after all it has happened three times before. It would probably take all of 10 seconds to make the footprints disappear. The Museum insists a fence would ruin the integrity of the piece so many more people may ‘damage’ this amazing work of art. How will the museum cope with the stress?

This brings me nicely to the second thing which I find hilarious about this story. How is a pile of peanut butter (even neatly smoothed over) a work of art? A major obstacle to get around perhaps, but a work of art?

Of course I know what many people will say. I just don’t get it. Art is about so many things and we cannot always see true genius upon first glance, sometimes these simple things are truly brilliant because of the thoughts and feeling behind it etc. etc. Or realistically some rich influential person calls something brilliant and so many other people who do not want to seem ignorant agree enthusiastically.

These people were recently left open mouthed when a new brilliant up and coming artist turned out to be a seven year old girl. Funny that, because the picture of the penguin she drew looked like it was done by a seven year old girl.  It was very well done by a seven year old girl but done by a seven year old girl nonetheless. So now is she still a brilliant up and coming artist or do we all now have more integrity when we say of certain artworks, ‘My child could have done better than that?’

Now I am not entirely against all modern art. Art does not have to be a perfectly drawn picture to be art. Sometimes the use of colour and light can be artistic and possible genius even if the work looks like a jumble of different colours. I like Gilbert and George for instance. Yes they use shit to create art but they do so very skilfully. I might not want to put it on my wall but I can see they have talent. Whereas I do not see how it takes any kind of talent to pour jars of peanut butter onto the floor.

But I guess the art world is what it is and this was The Netherlands and we all know that artistic takes on a whole new meaning there. I suppose if certain people look at a pile of Peanut Butter and think it is brilliant then who am I to judge? The thing is I doubt whether if under the influence of truth serum these people would truly say it was brilliant.

Still it gives us all something to laugh about except perhaps for the poor man who has received a bill for damaging a work of art. Of course the other hilarious point about this story is how do you miss a 14 metre expanse of peanut butter?

Thursday is BLOG DAY

Well here we are and finally after a break of oh a bit of time... I am going to start blogging on a regular basis again. Thursday is Blog day and from now on I will blog on a weekly basis and if I miss I give you permission to chastise me on a grand scale.

So this blog of course has not taken much thought so I thought I would say a few words about blogging in general. To some people blogs are pointless. There are countless number of blogs out there and most are probably not much good which raises the question what are blogs for?

I'm certain initially when people started online journals they did so simply to write. They wanted to share feeling and thoughts and opinions and it felt cathartic. Perhaps a few friends had a look and discussion ensued. But because we are human these things took of and now we find bloggers who are famous for blogging. It is the reality TV of the Internet now.

Why do I blog? Well I like writing down my thoughts and if someone reads them then that is great. Well actually it would be really great as hopefully then these people will read my other writings!  However if no one reads it then that is ok too as I enjoy it, it is fun and helpful and great writing practice.

Why do you blog? Or do you think Blogging has gotten a little out of hand?

Cheers till next Thursday,
Kellie

Don't Own The Negatives

I have noticed recently that many people in response to being called certain names decide the best way to deal with it is instead of arguing or defending themselves is to agree and try and turn it around into a positive. For example someone might be called a bitch and that person says; 'Too right! You bet I am a bitch, and proud of it!' At first glance you think well good on them for taking that attitude but is it in fact a healthy attitude to take?


Think of some of those words out there that people are trying to turn into positive ones. Bitch is one, nerd is another. How many people have you heard call themselves nerds meaning it in a good way? Even slut comes into that category. All these words have negative connotations. They were created as insults. Words meant to harm, label and be hurtful. Yes I do know that a bitch is a female dog but the derogatory meaning of that word has been around for a very long time, so much so that you cannot say the word in its real context without someone snickering.


Lets examine it. It might seem natural for people to try and change a word. Why not be a nerd or a bitch but then again does the so called positive connotation really mean the same thing. If someone calls you are bitch they are insulting you by saying you are mean and nasty or worse. If you call yourself one you mean well yes I am a strong woman that speaks her own mind and of course there is nothing wrong with that but that is not the same as the insult. These are two completely different meanings. You are not a bitch at all, not in the way the word usage intends. The same for nerd. The use of the word nerd implies someone boring; lets face it. If you love reading and are smart there is no need to accept that you are a nerd no matter what anyone says.


I hear some of you saying that this is all nonsense. Where is the harm to defuse a situation by saying yes I am a nerd and laughing it off? But think about it. Negative words will always be negative. We cannot change them. We may try but the original meaning of a word is so ingrained that it is impossible to turn around.


I have recently discovered the book 'The Hidden Messages in Water' by Dr. Emoto. This book is fascinating and just shows how words and their meanings can truly affect us. This book is a commentary on experiments done with water when it forms crystals. Different words were exposed to pure water for the period it takes for the water to form crystals. Some of these words were positive and some were negative. Some of the words were in English and some in other languages. Each time the results were the same. The water exposed to the positive words formed glorious beautiful, complete colourful crystals while the water exposed to the negative words formed incomplete, dull crystals.


The results in fact are incredible and raise many questions about life and the connection of all living things but my point here is that if water can be affected adversely by negative words imagine what they can do to us? The old sticks and stones saying is not true. Words can indeed be harmful. Though it is not the words of others that do the most harm as we are all capable of deciding we will not let the comments or opinions of others harm us, though many of us take years to learn this. No the comments that are most harmful to ourselves are the ones we give ourselves or take on as part of our identity. If we call ourselves stupid and useless then our lives will be affected by this. If we take on or own what other people call us then this can be incredibly damaging. Think of a child who is constantly told they are stupid. As an adult it is so ingrained that their lives are affected. They don't try new things or go for that dream job as they think they will not be up to it because they are in fact stupid.


Or a battered wife who ultimately believes what her husband calls her; stupid, worthless, ugly. Because she hears it so often she takes it on; wears it as a second skin and after so many years finds it almost impossible to discard.


So too every time we take on a word and own it we are affected by it even if we take it on in jest or to try to turn a negative into a positive. I will say it again; a negative term is a negative and no matter how hard we try to change it this simply will not happen.


Try something out. Look in the mirror and call yourself something positive. Tell yourself out loud that you are intelligent or clever. Notice what affect it has on you. Now look in the mirror and call yourself a bitch or a nerd. Notice what affect that has. Did it make you jump a little? Did you feel good or did you feel somewhat deflated? Chances are it did not make you feel good at all but rather quite the opposite.


So negative words I think are far better making their way out of our vocabulary rather than us trying to change them. Look at the use of the N word in the USA. So many arguments and discussions about such an ugly word. No one can make it pretty, not even African Americans speaking it to one another in jest. They are doing themselves a great disservice.


So next time you get called a name best to ignore it and perhaps think about removing that person far out of your life. If a friend uses the term in jest why not tell them you are uncomfortable with it and would much rather they use a positive term or at least just smile at them and ignore them too. No need to admit it or agree or to own the term.


It is worth mentioning too all those little words we call people that have become normal that too can cause damage. Have you ever called your child stupid or silly or bad?  Try and refrain from it because a child does not know how to ignore these terms and they will take them on and own them and be affected by them. They might do something that is silly or bad but they themselves are not, no matter what they have done. Make sure you distinguish between the act they have committed and themselves. Call them smart and clever and wonderful as many times as you can. They will believe it and far from making them arrogant it will give them self esteem and belief in themselves which is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child.


It might be worth mentioning too that if you do have a problem with thinking negatives about yourself then it is probably worthwhile trying some affirmations. Tell yourself often enough you are beautiful, smart, worthy, glorious etc and you will start to believe it. Have a look at 'You Can Heal Your Life' by Louise L. Hay. Remember no one on this earth is useless or worthless. No one! Not one person is worthless. Even a serial killer on death row may have a mother that loves them or may have shown at least one person affected by his crimes that life is too short and is worth living. Every single one of us is important and worthy and special and if we all believed that then name calling would be a thing of the past.


Remember to be kind to people. Name calling solves nothing at all. Even if a person is incredibly awful and behaving badly towards you don't resort to name calling. Eventually we can hope those truly negative people who delight in hurting others will realise that they call people names because of their own self esteem issues and the problem lies with them. Until then lets all try to be good to each other as much as we can and remember only label yourself good and positive things. Everyone will benefit from that.


Cheers,
Kellie

So Your Friend Is A New Mum...

Recently hubby was going through some of my 17 month old sons things. It is interesting to see what has been used to death but also things, especially clothes, that were used so little. Many things look brand spanking new. There are so many things you are convinced you have to buy when expecting a baby and if it is your first then it is very easy to think so many things are essential. Then of course there are all the well meant gifts. Which is where this blog comes in. I am going to give you advice of what to give and what to do for a new mum because lets face it most of you have not got a clue!


The Perfect Gift... and not...


A gift is a lovely thing. But I know you are wandering around Kmart or somewhere thinking; 'what can I get?' You don't want a to give a gift card because you want to give bub something personal, something to remember you by and plus you concede a new mum does not really want to go shopping and have to think for herself what she can buy that will make her remember you.


First things first. Chances are  the new mum or bub is never going to look at the gift in years to come and think of you fondly. It will probably go to come other child in a year or so, to either a sibling or cousin or complete stranger via the salvos. Even if it hides in the back of a cupboard for years or is kept because it is expensive engraved pewter the sleep deprived mum is not going to remember you bought it so just get that idea out of your idea.


Now lets talk about being practical! The best thing you can give a new mum is nappies. Simple. If she is using disposables and lets face it most of us do then it is an expensive exercise, one that goes on for long after the newborn gift giving time is up. Give them some newborn size and the next size up as some newborns (like mine!) can grow out of them very quickly and as I have said once they do the gifts have long stopped coming but the expenses have not. Formula is good too if you know the bub is formula fed as that is also an expensive ongoing cost.


If by some chance your new mum friend is using cloth nappies then buy some of them or if you are thinking of being really generous then a nappy service for a week will go down a  treat.


Forget rattles and teddy bears and bath products. She already has them coming our of her ears. Unless you know for a fact that your new mum friend has little money and has been unable to buy the essentials then she will have everything she needs for a newborn that does not run out quickly (like nappies and formula!!). If you want to buy clothes buy them in a few sizes bigger. It was great to have size 0 and 1 waiting in the wings for when he reached that age. Everyone gives newborns newborn clothes and they grow out of them in no time and the new mum is left with the expense of new clothes every couple of months.


First Contact


Now for contacting a new mum. First of all... do it! Don't think, 'oh I will leave as she will be so busy she wont want to hear from me.' She does want to hear from you and she wants to talk to you and feel as though her life is normal. There are ways to do it of course. What a boon texting and emailing is. Email or text and ask how she is and tell her you want to ring her and what is a good time? Do not tell her to ring you if she wants. She may well think you are just being nice so make sure you take the time to ring her.


New mums often don't know when people are genuine or not.' Ring me if you want.' 'Let me know if you need help or a baby sitter.' How many people really mean it and will go through with it? If you are one of those amazing friends that really do want to help then you have to make things clearer than that. Ring when she says it is a good time. If it turns out to be wrong time then graciously say you will ring back and then do it. If you arrange to see her and she has to postpone it then do so gladly, remember she has a lot on her place.


Most importantly if you want to help then do it! An offer to babysit must be definite. Don't make her chase you up and ask you to come and babysit as chances are pride will get in the way and she wont ask, even if she desperately wants to. Instead of saying let me know if you want a babysitter. Say something like, ' I'm free next Thursday how about I come over after lunch so you can have a lie down for a few hours?' This is much easier to say yes to then something that is said off hand and oftentimes is not even meant.


Visiting The Alien...


Now for the visit itself. Many people will visit a new mum, give a useless gift, sit on the couch nursing a sleeping baby while the new mum makes the tea. Get off your ass!! Give her a gift she can use (see above) and make the tea yourself. While you are in the kitchen take the time to empty or stack the dishwasher. I promise you she will not mind! Don't just nurse a sleeping a baby. If bub wakes offer to feed (if bottle fed) or change her. One nappy will not kill you. Remember new mum is changing it 8 times or more a day. Let her sit with a cuppa for a few minutes for heaven's sake!


Another point I will cover is taking food for a new mum. It is an old fashioned quaint tradition to take a casserole for a new mum. If you can do it then by all means do. A new mum needs all the help she can get. It is nice to keep old traditions going as well, at least ones that actually make sense. But if you are not up to a casserole consider something else. Some fruit maybe or pick up some essentials for her like milk and bread. Best of all you know what you can do? Time your visit for lunchtime and ask if she would like you to pick up some KFC for her on the way. That strange rumbling noise you will hear down the phone will be tears of gratitude!


Remember the new mum will be different to when you last saw her and I don't just mean in the belly department! She may seem normal or she may not. She may be over excited or the extreme opposite and seem a bit hazy, She may get teary or she may smile madly the whole time. Whatever she does, try and remember she has an alien presence she is getting used to. Her body is not something she recognises and she is sleep deprived.


Which brings me to what to say. If she looks a complete mess no need to tell her, even out of concern. Conversely do not lie and tell her she looks great. She knows she does not and in her emotional, delicate state she will wonder why one of her closest friends has decided to start lying to her in such a cruel way.


Of course if she mentions it you need to be delicate. 'I look awful' she says holding out her baggy, vomit stained t-shirt and running her fingers through her greasy hair. Don't say yes or no simply say; 'You look tired, but that is to be expected, do you want to go and have a little lie down?'


Just The One?


Now most importantly if you are a true friend that wants to help don't just leave it at one visit. Keep in touch! Contact her on a regular basis and keep giving offers of help and visits. Remember her when the baby is 3 months or 5 months old not just a newborn. The new mum will still be dealing with new things and need friends around her.


Tragedy


I should mention what to do in the case of a mum having lost a baby. This has not happened to me so I am not speaking from personal experience but I think I can give some basic advice. That is to not ignore her to give her space or because you don't know what to say. Simply say you are very sorry. Tell her what you feel and avoid cliches. It really is that simple. No one wants to hear that time will heal or at least you can have (or have) another one but they do want to hear that people care. Again not just in the early stages but months afterwards.


Gifts of food and help around the house will still apply. As might offers to babysit if there is a child in the household. Your friend may appreciate time to herself for a bit.


All Show...


Now if you are one of these people that feel obliged to give a gift but don't really give a shit then buy a cheap teddy and post it. The new mum does not want to have to entertain you while you visit and expect to be waited on.


Of Course...


If you know for a fact that your new mum is wealthy and/or surrounded by friends and family who help a lot then of course you can ignore all the above advice. Though a text or email might be nice still!




That is it for now folks.


Be back soon with more words of wisdom....


Kell